Hey guys! Yeah, it's me! GOD. Seriously.
And dude, I get it. You've been all over the place, looking for the answer. You want to know why your girlfriend has joined a bowling league that is a mandatory seven nights a week. Your boyfriend is moving to New Hampshire and he claims it's on Mars where they don't have cell phones yet. Where is the problem? Where........is the answer???
The answer, my friends, lies within yourself. Wait, no......in this blog. More in this blog than yourself but whatever, the point is I have the key that joins the two together and creates some sort of bastard mutant child of love that would have been aborted if it were up to the hippies.
I will answer questions that will prove to you I AM THE ONE TRUE LORD AND SAVIOR, BOW BEFORE ME OR BURN IN ETERNAL HELLFIRE. I will also occasionally offer cooking tips and some advice on how to teach your children better manners, because they are mostly out of control nowadays and I will fucking kill you all noah's ark style if it isn't dealt with. Word of warning.
It going to be fun, exciting, painful, horrifying, reality-altering, and informative. Can't wait to see what the future holds! LOL just kidding totally already know!!!
P.S. - it involves enslavement of humankind by hyper-evolutionized frogs
And dude, I get it. You've been all over the place, looking for the answer. You want to know why your girlfriend has joined a bowling league that is a mandatory seven nights a week. Your boyfriend is moving to New Hampshire and he claims it's on Mars where they don't have cell phones yet. Where is the problem? Where........is the answer???
The answer, my friends, lies within yourself. Wait, no......in this blog. More in this blog than yourself but whatever, the point is I have the key that joins the two together and creates some sort of bastard mutant child of love that would have been aborted if it were up to the hippies.
I will answer questions that will prove to you I AM THE ONE TRUE LORD AND SAVIOR, BOW BEFORE ME OR BURN IN ETERNAL HELLFIRE. I will also occasionally offer cooking tips and some advice on how to teach your children better manners, because they are mostly out of control nowadays and I will fucking kill you all noah's ark style if it isn't dealt with. Word of warning.
It going to be fun, exciting, painful, horrifying, reality-altering, and informative. Can't wait to see what the future holds! LOL just kidding totally already know!!!
P.S. - it involves enslavement of humankind by hyper-evolutionized frogs
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